I am excited to get started up again soon, I have been through a ton of life change, and I need to figure what is going to work best. If anyone has any requests for meeting time I would love to hear from you. TheWell@live.com
I will post here in the next two weeks when life has some set details.
If you want to just meet one on one please sent me an email and I would love to meet with you. joymichelle100@hotmail.com
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Lunch Hangout
Well Saturday my daughter and I went for a two hour drive to meet up with the Boys and their parents for lunch. We met at McDonald's playplace, talked just a little while the kids played. I asked about what the Boys think about my daughter and me, As far as what our relationship is I mean. Well V-their mom- said that she was reading the oldests journal from school, when he mentioned his family including his dad, his younger brother, his step-mom and his step-sister, meaning me and my daughter. She also said there was no mention of her..... that she felt left out - jokingly. That was nice to hear that he thinks about us. So he has not quit figured out the relationship between himself and my daughter. V- also mentioned the younger son has never mentioned anything about us. Which is fine. I refer to the boys as our friends when talking to my daughter about them. D&V said they call me their friend and my daughter their special friend or special sister.
So then we talked about mutual friends from Church, then the rain had stopped so they suggested a local park, which sounded like fun, so we all loaded in their car and went to the park, the kids played, I pushed all three on the tire swing, it was so hot out, then dark clouds were headed our way so we quickly jumped back in the van and headed back to my car. We took a few pictures before giving our "see you laters" and we were off. My daughter fell asleep just 5 minutes into the ride.
I found this visit to be the best in a while, it was really comfortable, I totally enjoyed chillin with the boys and D&V too.
I always feel emotionally drained after a visit, however I also feel contented and refreshed. I love to see how their family functions together and to learn what they are up to and involved in. Big bro is playing soccer and golf this summer and the little guy is playing baseball. They are both very smart and active. Oh and super cute, how could they not be? I have been thinking about the boys often since last week, praying for them, and wishing we could know each other better.
So then we talked about mutual friends from Church, then the rain had stopped so they suggested a local park, which sounded like fun, so we all loaded in their car and went to the park, the kids played, I pushed all three on the tire swing, it was so hot out, then dark clouds were headed our way so we quickly jumped back in the van and headed back to my car. We took a few pictures before giving our "see you laters" and we were off. My daughter fell asleep just 5 minutes into the ride.
I found this visit to be the best in a while, it was really comfortable, I totally enjoyed chillin with the boys and D&V too.
I always feel emotionally drained after a visit, however I also feel contented and refreshed. I love to see how their family functions together and to learn what they are up to and involved in. Big bro is playing soccer and golf this summer and the little guy is playing baseball. They are both very smart and active. Oh and super cute, how could they not be? I have been thinking about the boys often since last week, praying for them, and wishing we could know each other better.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Birthmother's Day is nearing once again.
Birthmother's day is a day set apart to honor birthmothers. Similar to mothers's day in a way. Often times society allows us to beleive that the pain of a birthmother ends with the placement and finalization of adoption. When the reality is that there is not a day that goes by that many birthmothers do not think of their "birth" children. Don't get me wrong the thoughts may just be passing through, but sometimes they linger and become worry or regret. For me there is peace, I often think of the boys and wonder what they are up to, what sports are they kicking other boys butts at? Then I think of how much their parents love them and how blessed their lives are today, this bring peace. The ultimate peace comes in the fact that I know their parents love God and are teaching the boys about God.
I want to take a moment to honor each birthmother -- if you are reading this you have made a hard choice, and you will live with that forever but there is hope for peace in the journey.
If you are at my blog hoping to learn more about birthmothers please feel free to google the word. A birthmother is a gal that has placed a child for adoption, in my case I placed two boys with the same family. I see the boys about one to two times a year. There are three types of adoption. Open adoption -- this is what I have, where I have open communication with the family. Semi-Open -- where either side can contact the adoption agency to contact the other party. Closed Adoption -- the birthmother knows nearly nothing about the child or family, and can only ask the agency to place something in the childs file for her.
Birthmothers day was created by birthmothers knowing that Birthmothers should be recognized, not forgotten and honored for making what could possilby be the hardest choice of their life. I will try to get back with some links to more information soon.
I want to take a moment to honor each birthmother -- if you are reading this you have made a hard choice, and you will live with that forever but there is hope for peace in the journey.
If you are at my blog hoping to learn more about birthmothers please feel free to google the word. A birthmother is a gal that has placed a child for adoption, in my case I placed two boys with the same family. I see the boys about one to two times a year. There are three types of adoption. Open adoption -- this is what I have, where I have open communication with the family. Semi-Open -- where either side can contact the adoption agency to contact the other party. Closed Adoption -- the birthmother knows nearly nothing about the child or family, and can only ask the agency to place something in the childs file for her.
Birthmothers day was created by birthmothers knowing that Birthmothers should be recognized, not forgotten and honored for making what could possilby be the hardest choice of their life. I will try to get back with some links to more information soon.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Walkin in a Winter Wonderland
The Well will meet Dec. 18th at 7pm
I guess I'm not so much walking in a winder wonderland as simply in a wonderland.
My first son's birthday was on December 4th. I thought the day went well, I was sick with a cold and did not do much that day, towards the end of the day my mom asked if something was wrong, I said I didn't think so and continued on to say "it is Theo's birthday."
I placed my son, Theo, in the arms of his parents 3 days after his birth, this day is the one that is hard, more than his birthday - people often think it's natural for the child's birthday to be a hard day for a mother that no longer has her child but for me it is the placement day that is hard.
I wonder what God was thinking when he had my nephew - the first grandson that is part of our family - be born on the same day as my first son - the first grandson that is not part of our family - just five years apart. December 3rd or December 5th were available or any of the other 364 days...But God chose to have these boys share a birthday - I WONDER about that.
December 7th was a hard day. I replayed the days events of 8 years ago over in my mind and continued to do so for the next few days. I don't think there is much I remember about 8 years ago, but I can replay about 2 hours of my life, moment for moment perfectly. The emotion of the day is easily seen and felt, the faces are detailed, the moment is crystal. I wonder --- yes I do wonder had that moment not happened, had I parented this child. I wondered. Then Peace fell on me like a heavy down comforter, warming my heart, knowing the decision made was helping fill God's perfect plan for this child's life.
I wonder ... does he know that I love him so so so much. It did not stop at placement and it will not stop ever...I Wonder. I wonder... will we one day be friends. I wonder...who he will become...I wonder... who he will love...I wonder, wonder, wonder so many thoughts filled my mind, I had to stop thinking/wondering and take a nap. The day was well spent thinking and praying for my first child.
My second son's birthday is at the end of the month... his placement day is 8 days later in January. I wonder what feelings that will bring.
I wonder...as I walk this month and this winter.
Walkin in a winter wonderland.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
November 20th
There will be no meeting this week, I thought it was Thanksgiving.
Since it is not, I am having a Jewelry party and would love for everyone to join that Party, it would be a great time to meet you. I will also be doing hand waxing at the party. 7pm call me for more info if you are interested.
763-232-0487
Since it is not, I am having a Jewelry party and would love for everyone to join that Party, it would be a great time to meet you. I will also be doing hand waxing at the party. 7pm call me for more info if you are interested.
763-232-0487
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Truth
It depends on who you talk to, is there really anything that is absolute truth? Each adoption story is so different so what is "true" for one person/family is not so for another. There is no typical adoption experience for any part of the triad.
For example: there are adopted children that have felt like they don't belong with their adopted family and want to find their birth family. Other adopted children feel like they fit perfectly and are not bothered about finding their birth family in the least. Of course there are adoptees that are in the middle as well that love and belong to their adopted family, yet have a pull on their heart to find their birthmother/family even if it is just to meet once, while others meet and start a new relationship that continues indefinately.
Now what is the truth about Birthmothers? They are scary, heartless, uncaring, unloving, and unkind sinners who should be shunned from society, sent away during pregnancy, treated rudely by the public, they could not do anything right in their current life or the future. Is this the truth?
My next question is --- do you know me? If you beleive any of the things above about birthmothers please take a moment to get to know me. I have a big heart, I truely care and love people, sometimes too much. I try to be kind especially to sinners -- (ok that is everyone)-- but when it comes to my boys I could not have loved, cared, and been more kind and gently to them. Heartless, well that did not come untill after they were placed when they each took a part of my heart with them and left me with a huge scar in the place where the parts of my heart were torn out and that scar is one of those ones that hurts even after it has healed. So the truth you may know about birthmothers is simply not true at all. The "truth" is: Most of us are college educated with great jobs and many of us are "do gooders" in the community. You may be friends with a birthmother and not even know it, as history has proven it is better to hide the fact that we are birthmothers than to share the truth with others, keeping ourselves shielded from the shame or disapproval of society.
Adoptive parents please find out the truth, do not let horror stories way in and snuff out the truth. I've watched those same tv shows as you, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Montel, which ever one it is, and while you are horrified I and distaught to think that one story is speaking for so many stories that are not horrifing but the complete opposite. Adoptive mothers let me tell my truth. Do not be intimidated by me, do not be worried about your child loving me more or instead, do not fear my intentions. The truth is my children are not mine, nor are they yours, they are the Lords and he has blessed me to even have the opportunity to know and love them, but he has blessed you even more to have the honor of being their mother, the one they run to when they get a scratch, when they need comfort, when they just need someone to hold them. You adoptive mother are the one who goes to their soccer, football and basketball games, their band concerts and their parent conferences. You are the one they love unconditionally no matter how many spanks you give them. YOU adoptive MOM are their mom, nothing can or will change that. Blood may be thicker than water but love is rock solid nothing can break through it. Nothing can break the bond between a mother and her child, you are the mother, so do not waste another moment worring about the birthmother, I am here to love your children from a distance to do nothing but love them, I will be honest and say that I do love them more than words can say on this page, but I know you feel that same and I can see it on your face, in your actions and through your words. The Truth is God made Adoptive mothers, birth mothers and children for love. Truth for you is simply what you beleive. Absolute Truth is that Jesus loves you and God sent him to die for you so you could repent and live forever with Him.
Note: this is not aimed at my childrens mother specifically - at all. I don't know how she feels about me, but that she is grateful to raise the children that I birthed.
For example: there are adopted children that have felt like they don't belong with their adopted family and want to find their birth family. Other adopted children feel like they fit perfectly and are not bothered about finding their birth family in the least. Of course there are adoptees that are in the middle as well that love and belong to their adopted family, yet have a pull on their heart to find their birthmother/family even if it is just to meet once, while others meet and start a new relationship that continues indefinately.
Now what is the truth about Birthmothers? They are scary, heartless, uncaring, unloving, and unkind sinners who should be shunned from society, sent away during pregnancy, treated rudely by the public, they could not do anything right in their current life or the future. Is this the truth?
My next question is --- do you know me? If you beleive any of the things above about birthmothers please take a moment to get to know me. I have a big heart, I truely care and love people, sometimes too much. I try to be kind especially to sinners -- (ok that is everyone)-- but when it comes to my boys I could not have loved, cared, and been more kind and gently to them. Heartless, well that did not come untill after they were placed when they each took a part of my heart with them and left me with a huge scar in the place where the parts of my heart were torn out and that scar is one of those ones that hurts even after it has healed. So the truth you may know about birthmothers is simply not true at all. The "truth" is: Most of us are college educated with great jobs and many of us are "do gooders" in the community. You may be friends with a birthmother and not even know it, as history has proven it is better to hide the fact that we are birthmothers than to share the truth with others, keeping ourselves shielded from the shame or disapproval of society.
Adoptive parents please find out the truth, do not let horror stories way in and snuff out the truth. I've watched those same tv shows as you, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Montel, which ever one it is, and while you are horrified I and distaught to think that one story is speaking for so many stories that are not horrifing but the complete opposite. Adoptive mothers let me tell my truth. Do not be intimidated by me, do not be worried about your child loving me more or instead, do not fear my intentions. The truth is my children are not mine, nor are they yours, they are the Lords and he has blessed me to even have the opportunity to know and love them, but he has blessed you even more to have the honor of being their mother, the one they run to when they get a scratch, when they need comfort, when they just need someone to hold them. You adoptive mother are the one who goes to their soccer, football and basketball games, their band concerts and their parent conferences. You are the one they love unconditionally no matter how many spanks you give them. YOU adoptive MOM are their mom, nothing can or will change that. Blood may be thicker than water but love is rock solid nothing can break through it. Nothing can break the bond between a mother and her child, you are the mother, so do not waste another moment worring about the birthmother, I am here to love your children from a distance to do nothing but love them, I will be honest and say that I do love them more than words can say on this page, but I know you feel that same and I can see it on your face, in your actions and through your words. The Truth is God made Adoptive mothers, birth mothers and children for love. Truth for you is simply what you beleive. Absolute Truth is that Jesus loves you and God sent him to die for you so you could repent and live forever with Him.
Note: this is not aimed at my childrens mother specifically - at all. I don't know how she feels about me, but that she is grateful to raise the children that I birthed.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Today
Today I am so grateful to the wonderful people that adopted my boys. I am thankful for the unexplainable love I can see that they have for the boys. I am thankful for the way that they are raising the boys, for who the boys are becoming, for the life they are giving the boys. I am so grateful to God for making my heart peaceful about it all. I am whats the word I am looking for? I am happy for their perfect family that God built with His perfect hands.
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